No Pablo Neruda

Essays on life, work and literature

Archive for May 22, 2009

My Romance

Here I am, ashamed, not knowing

Why the road is turning back and going

Back toward its starting place

This look of shock upon my face.

*

You see, this look, this look, it belies

The regret and hope, the heartfelt sighs

The yearning for his nearness now

The past I’ve had, the seeds to sow.

*

Unable now, I make no sense

My mistakes ingrain like penitence

A living penitence for saying yes

And receiving what I would have guessed.

*

I had hoped, not hoped, I’d hoped

It would improve on what we wrote

It would be written better,  sweeter

It would be fixed, and tided, neater.

*

Perhaps though I fool myself as well

For cause to leave I entered Hell

Knowing that I want to run

Knowing I cannot love someone.

*

Perhaps I knew, and here I stand

With a heart in two, a heart disbanded

Wondering why I’m made a fool

But governing this, directing all.